While Mom's at Work

It's great how mom's and dad's do things differently.  And it's great for kids to be alone with their mom, and alone with their dad.  It's good for them to see two sides of the parenting spectrum.  Case in point: when mom goes to work.  I would really like to be a fly on the wall on one of these occasions because I think I would get a few good laughs at watching Brian with all three kids by himself.  I have gone to get Leah in the morning and laughed at his choice of "pajamas"(or lack thereof).  I have found out that dinner consisted of a cheese stick.  This night happened to be one where the kids "just couldn't get to sleep" as they told him.  If it were me (and I'm in no way saying my way is better because it's just as often not) I would have marched them back to bed and tucked them in again.  Not Brian.  He says, "lay down then (right there in the hall), and don't get up or make a sound unless you want to be back in bed."  So they didn't.  Brian says there was almost a peep from one of them and he just made some grunting sound at them and they got big eyes and zipped their lips.  When I came home shortly before midnight I found them here. 

A Little Slumber

Jake was playing hard and I guess he decided he was ready for a nap because this is where I found him when I went to check on him.  He had crawled onto his bed and folded over like he likes to do.  He will sit up and flop over probably 20 times a night in his sleep (don't ask how I know this...YES he's in our bed a lot these days).  I've asked the Ear Nose & Throat doc if everything was all right and they say he's okay, so I guess it's just his way of getting comfy.

Jake's Turn

So Jake just had his birthday, the big 0-4, so I thought I'd post some pics of him as a baby since I did that with Kennedy. 

I look hideous in this shot, but you know what?  I earned that tear-stained face.  It's a face of someone going through a lot of change, and I can say, after four years, I am so much the better person because of those initial tears.  So I'll post the puffy-eyed, tear-stained face, because we all share that kind of pain at one time or another, and I know that 99 percent of the time, we're glad we went through it because it changed us for the better and blessed us in ways we never thought possible.  Amen!

This was the first time I got to see Jake after they took him to the NICU with some breathing/temperature issues.  I was trying so hard to connect with this baby who didn't look a whole lot like what I was expecting.  The connecting started happening when I finally got to hold him and (try) to feed him.  It's amazing how two hearts can connect without speaking.  One needing the other.

This is the actual first glimpse I got of him in the NICU-the poor kid looks like some alien getting ready to head into outer space!  It was actually just an oxygen hood they had on him until they could put the nasal cannula in.

Brian came in and I am so glad I took this photo because I forget how tiny he really was.  His smallest weight was 4lb 12oz.  Brian's hand just makes me realize how small that really is.

And this picture, well, this picture reminds me why I married Brian.  Because even though he has a heart of mush when it comes to his kids, and his eyes are a little swollen too, well, he can still be goofy and light-hearted and it really helped me get out of my sad funk. 

 

Baby Jake also ended up with jaundice, so he had to do some phototherapy while he was baking in the oven.

This was taken probably about a week after he was born, and notice I'm not tear-stained anymore, in fact, I'm looking downright peaceful.  It was all that holding and getting-to-know-you stuff we did in the NICU.  I got to know his little quirks and personality.  For instance, Jake NEVER cried, but when the nurse would suck the congestion out of his nose, he would get the saddest little face and whimper, like his feelings were so hurt that they would do that to him.  It was the sweetest thing.

I couldn't get this pic to rotate, but I'll put it in anyway because it's cute :)

So there were a lot of things and mostly people that got me through those two weeks in the hospital,and one of them was this little woman.  She would come down to the NICU, pointing out all the shapes she saw in the carpet, walls, anywhere.  "Look mom, there's a cylinder!"  And she'd always jump in the elevator.  She loved the play kitchen in the NICU waiting area.  It was always a break from worry to be with her and take care of her like a normal mom, not a mom who just got her world turned upside down.  I am so glad I had her.

I don't know who took this photo of me, my mom, and Kennedy in the NICU waiting area, but I am so glad they did.  I remember seeing this photo for the first time, probably over a month after Jake was born and actually being surprised that I was laughing out loud like that.  Most of my memories of that time in the hospital were of feeling so sad, overwhelmed, and worried.  I was glad to know that I also had times like this.  We had so many people supporting us through that difficult time.  My mom came as soon as we called to tell her I was in labor.  She didn't have a cell phone with her so she didn't know about jake having Down syndrome until she walked into my hospital room when she arrived several hours after he was born.  I remember that moment like it was yesterday.  I was holding Kennedy on my lap while she watched cartoons and Brian was with Jake while he was getting an echocardiogram in the nursery.  My mom walked in and I immediately broke into tears and said, "they think has Down syndrome..." and she came and hugged me and said, "that's okay!"  Two simple words, but that was the turning point for me.  I saw that it wasn't the end of the world to my mom, so that meant that it didn't have to be for me either. 

This shot is another way our family supported us through that difficult transition.  When it was clear that Jake wouldn't be coming home with us for a little while, we made the difficult decision to send kennedy down to Utah to stay with family so that I could stay at the hospital with Jake.  We'd never been apart even overnight, so it was incredibly hard to watch my mom drive away with her, on Mother's Day no less!  But our whole extended family pitched in while Kennedy was down there, and she had an absolute ball.  My sister-in-law even took her out to have some pictures taken of her since she had just had her 2nd birthday a couple weeks earlier.  It just made me feel so overwhelmed with gratitude and love for all the people in our life, and all the ways that they told us, through not only their words, but also their service, how much they loved us.

And finally the day we all waited for, homecoming day!  It's hard to believe it's been four years already.  I never would have thought back then that I'd be writing this today, so overwhelmingly grateful for all of the emotion I went through with Jake's birth and especially that first year of learning. I had so many fears of the unknown back then, how well would he walk? talk? fit into our family? learn?   All is not bliss, but most of my fears have been replaced with hope, encouragement, anticipation.  He is showing me the way.  And now  I have this incredibly bright, funny, sensitive, charming little boy who just this morning told me we were going to get married.  Okay Jake, I'll marry you (I don't think dad will mind).

The Last Month or So...

A typical morning around here consists of bathing Leah and Jake together, but on the rare occasion that Kennedy wants someone in the bath with her, Leah is always the chosen one.  Leah loves to tackle Kennedy as she lays back to wash her hair.  She is just sure that Kennedy does that just for her.  And Leah loves nothing better (other than unloading a drawer...or ten) than towels, specifically her siblings being wrapped up in a towel and she chasing them down until she can wrap her arms around them hobbling along after saying "ahhh..." all cuddly-like.  ANYWAY, a few pics from a few days ago.

I'm so glad I happened to get a picture of Leah's cute chubby little hands.  And I love their eyes, how they're shaped the same, but different colors. 

And it just wouldn't be a typical day if Leah wasn't unloading something.  This day it was the planter pot on our patio.  Again, I'm sure she thinks I put them there just for her.  And who's going to tell her otherwise?  Let her think she has the coolest mom in the world! 

And her new favorite unloading spot, the little flip-out drawer in the bathroom.  She's just discovered she can, in fact, open it.  JACKPOT!  The Q-tips!

The situation we have now is that Jake and Leah are getting to be so close in playing-types that it's almost like having twins some days.  They think a lot alike, but with the advantage that Jake can help Leah get what she wants when she's not physically able to.  Hence, the dishwasher door:

(none of the other kids ever even tried to get on the door.  Leah is definitely her own little personality.  She isn't afraid of anything (well, except balloons right now, which is a little odd, I know.)  Heaven help us on the day she discovers she can climb out of her crib.

 So Mr. Throw-ups has been visiting our house ever since last week.  Leah started with it, then Brian, Jake, me Kennedy, and now Brian and Leah again.  Let's just say he has worn out his welcome and my washing machine just has to be as tired as I am.  But the silver lining is that you can get cute photos like the one below, of a little boy curled up on the couch just like the cat behind him (on the latest pile of clean laundry to park there).

Now the most important event going on around here lately (according to Kennedy) is her 6th birthday!  She decided this year she really wanted to head down to Utah to have a "cousin birthday", so that's what we planned.  On her actual bday we had cake and candles and a few presents, no friends really planned into the whole event.  But she's such a little social bug that two of her friends were already here playing when it was time to eat and have cake so they stayed.  Then two of her other friends came by with a gift for her, so they stayed to play too.  So lucky her, she got a friend party and she'll get a cousin party too.  Pretty spoiled, but she sure deserves it.

With her friends Tyson and Lexi.

She wanted another M&M cake this year.  Well, this one fell apart inside when I was trying to transfer it to the cake plate.  But nothing a little frosting won't fix! 

She really wanted a hula-hoop, so dad fixed her up.

Pictureka!

Doing bubbles outside with all the friends.  I really love that Kennedy has made so many friends here.  It has been a true blessing since we live so far from family.  Here is Carlin, Peyton, Samantha, Tyson, Shelby and Lexi.

 Now Jake, all he wanted was the sidewalk chalk.  All of it.

Leah had lost her pants by now to some type of food mess, but that didn't stop her from loving the great outdoors.  Who needs neat hair anyway?

So my friend Rita (who is impossibly nice and completely lovable) gave me these kids frames to use for Jake when he gets bigger.  Kennedy found them the morning we were making her birthday treats for school and put them on.  She said she had to hold up her fingers to show how old she was now.  By the way, we did the gummy-worms-in-oreo-dirt treat for school and it was a big hit.

A typical day when dad gets home.  It's a race to see who gets to him first.  I love it.

The bigger kids usually get to him first, but this doesn't stop Leah from pushing them out of her way. 

The other morning I found Kennedy in Leah's crib.  She said Leah was fussing so she climbed in and they both fell asleep.  When I walked in, Leah couldn't wait to "tell" me about Kennedy laying there in her crib!

I was sitting in the recliner the other day and looked over at Jake doing this.  He said it was his stage (notice the bucket he's standing on).  He really likes to pretend to sing into a microphone.  Should I be nervous about what might happen during his teenage years with this inclination?  I can picture him serenading girls already.

Parting shot: Leah has finally become the pusher as opposed to the pushee of the giant Tonka truck.  Time for payback for all the bumps she's taken from Jake being the pusher.  Don't worry, his head didn't actually hit the chair, but it came close enough to give him a scare!  Leah giggled the whole time she pushed him.

One reason I like doing this blog is that it lets me see all the "perfect" moments in our life.  Day-to-day life can be so busy, overwhelming, and seemingly not full of great meaning, but the small moments, taken together, make our life perfect. 

Nostalgic

My firstborn is turning six next week and I've been thinking a lot about when she was born.  So I thought I'd post a few baby shots of her just for fun.

On her blessing day with Grandma (she made her blessing dress and it won the blue ribbon at the Davis County Fair!)

A fun pic from when she was a couple months old.

Daddy being totally wrapped around her finger at only minutes old. :)

Kennedy cried and cried right after she was born, but as soon as she heard her dad's voice, she calmed right down and opened her eyes to take a look.

.

Just me and my girl.

It took us three years to get her here, and I still remember like it was yesterday when the nurse called me to tell me I was pregnant.  After we both cried together on the phone, I hung up, walked to the couch and fell like a rock into a very deep sleep, grateful to know that the pure exhaustion I'd been feeling lately had a legitimate cause!  I couldn't figure out why my workouts at the gym had recently seemed so much harder,  but now I knew, and it was the most exhilarating feeling in the world.
I sure love her and can't believe how fast six years has gone by.

Jake's Imagination

Tonight while brushing Jake's teeth, the toothpaste foam got a little out of control and ran down his chin.  Jake looked in the mirror and said, "I'm Santa!"  You gotta love that kid.

Enjoying the Small Things

If you haven't checked out this blog (it's on my list to the right), you really must.  This woman takes the most amazing, heartfelt, touching photographs.  Her way of describing life and all its beauty is so natural but so beautiful.  And as an added bonus: she just had a baby girl who happens to have Down syndrome :)